Maid of Honor Checklist

Questions to ask before saying yes

• What is the approximate wedding date and location?
• How many bridesmaids are in the party, and will I be coordinating them?
• What pre-wedding events are planned?
• Is the wedding local or will travel be required?
• Do you want me to give a speech at the reception?
• What does maid of honor mean to you, and how involved do you want me to be?

Why the last question matters

Some brides want a highly involved MOH who helps co-manage decisions. Others want a MOH who shows up for major moments and stays out of day-to-day planning. Knowing the difference sets expectations from day one.

Common areas to clarify

• Who is responsible for leading bridal shower planning?
• Who is responsible for leading bachelorette planning?
• Is a MOH speech expected?
• Will you be coordinating the other bridesmaids?
• Are you expected to attend vendor appointments with the bride?

Write it down

Verbal agreements about roles get forgotten under wedding planning stress. Keep a simple note with what the bride expects from you.

Most variable costs

• Bachelorette party: a destination event can easily add $500-$1,500+ per person.
• Bridal shower: as the primary host, your contribution is usually larger than each bridesmaid's share.

Budget tip

Have a frank conversation with the bride early about budget expectations for both events. A good friend will not want you to go into debt for her wedding.

Events to block off

• Engagement party.
• Wedding dress shopping appointments.
• Bridesmaid dress shopping and fittings.
• Bridal shower.
• Bachelorette party.
• Vendor appointments the bride wants you to attend.
• Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Wedding day, including the getting-ready start time.

Pro tip

Create a shared calendar or group chat with the bridesmaids immediately. The earlier you establish communication channels, the smoother the coordination will be.

Your role

The MOH often helps organize the engagement party alongside the couple's families. This is your first chance to establish a working rhythm with the bridesmaids.

What to organize

• Guest list with the couple.
• Venue, food, and drinks.
• Invitations, activities, and any toasts.
• A simple plan for setup and cleanup.

Team coordination

Use the engagement party to introduce bridesmaids who do not already know each other. A friendly group now will make later planning easier.

Your role at dress shopping

• Be the bride's primary source of honest, supportive feedback.
• Manage the opinions of other attendees so the bride is not overwhelmed.
• Keep the energy positive if the appointment is difficult.
• Take photos if the salon allows it.

The golden rule

Supportive feedback only. Your job is to support the bride's vision, not impose your own taste.

Practical note

Dress shopping appointments can run 2-3 hours each. Block more time than the appointment length suggests.

Your coordination role

• Organize the group shopping appointment or coordinate individual orders.
• Ensure bridesmaids submit measurements on time.
• Communicate the bride's preferences clearly.
• Manage conflicts about style, color, or cost diplomatically.

Payment clarity

Encourage the bride to communicate who pays for dress, alterations, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup. Ambiguity here causes resentment.

MOH dress note

Some MOHs wear a different style or color from the bridesmaids. Confirm this before ordering.

Why this matters

If the bridesmaids do not all know each other, a group chat established early prevents awkward planning later.

First message checklist

• Introduce yourself and your relationship to the bride.
• Ask each bridesmaid to introduce herself.
• Share the wedding date and known upcoming events.
• Set this as the primary channel for bridesmaid coordination.

Platform options

Use WhatsApp, iMessage, or a shared Google Doc for logistics. Keep it simple; more platforms means more confusion.

Planning sequence

• Consult the bride about what she actually wants.
• Set a group budget before booking anything.
• Pick 2-3 date options and poll the group.
• Book destination, lodging, or venue 4-6 months out for travel plans.
• Coordinate transportation, activities, restaurant reservations, and payments.

Budget rule

The bride's expenses are usually covered by the group. Split the remainder clearly, with the MOH contributing an equal or slightly larger share if that is the group's norm.

If budgets vary

Have private conversations with anyone who raises budget concerns. Do not force a budget negotiation in the group chat.

Planning checklist

• Guest list with the bride and family hosts.
• Venue, date, invitations, and theme.
• Food, drinks, games, decorations, and optional favors.
• Setup plan, cleanup plan, and day-of assignments.

Delegation

Assign specific tasks to each bridesmaid. The MOH coordinates; the bridesmaids execute.

Gift recording

Assign one bridesmaid to record every gift and giver during gift opening. This list is essential for thank-you notes.

Cost split

The shower cost is typically divided among the MOH and bridesmaids, with the MOH often contributing a larger share as primary host.

Day-of MOH responsibilities

• Be the bride's primary companion and advocate.
• Manage transportation and group movement.
• Handle problems quietly before they reach the bride.
• Document the event with photos and videos.
• Manage the group's pace and energy.

MOH rule

Everything that goes wrong is yours to solve, not the bride's to hear about.

Typical fitting schedule

• First fitting when the dress arrives, often 3-5 months before the wedding.
• Second fitting 6-8 weeks before the wedding.
• Final fitting 2-4 weeks before the wedding.

Your role

• Provide honest, supportive feedback on fit.
• Learn how to bustle the train.
• Confirm the bride is happy with each alteration before leaving.

Critical skill

Practice bustling the train at the final fitting. You will need to do it quickly and confidently on the wedding day.

Track for each bridesmaid

• Dress ordered and arrival date confirmed.
• Alteration appointment scheduled.
• Final fitting completed.
• Shoes and accessories purchased.
• Hair and makeup appointment confirmed if required.

Tracking sheet

Create a simple Google Sheet or shared note with each bridesmaid's status. Send reminders to anyone behind schedule.

Common appointments MOHs attend

• Florist consultation.
• Cake tasting.
• Venue walkthrough.
• Hair and makeup trial.

Your role

• Be a second set of eyes and ears.
• Take notes the bride might miss.
• Ask practical questions when helpful.
• Do not dominate the conversation or impose your preferences.

Why start now

A great MOH speech needs time to find the right stories, draft, revise, and practice until it feels natural.

First step today

Write down every story, memory, and quality about the bride that comes to mind. Do not edit yet; just capture.

Common MOH planning assistance tasks

• Addressing and sending invitations.
• Assembling favors or welcome bags.
• Researching vendors the bride has not booked yet.
• Helping manage the RSVP list.
• Coordinating transportation for out-of-town guests.

The key question

Ask the bride directly: What would be most helpful right now? Do not guess; needs change throughout planning.

What to confirm

• Each bridesmaid's hair and makeup appointment time.
• Who is paying.
• Whether the bride wants a specific style.
• Getting-ready location.
• What time each bridesmaid needs to arrive.

Share the schedule

Send a consolidated schedule with appointment times and location at least 6 weeks before the wedding.

Your speech should now have

• A clear structure.
• Two specific personal stories about the bride.
• A genuine acknowledgment of the couple's relationship.
• A closing toast.

Practice out loud

A speech that reads well on paper often sounds different when spoken. Time yourself and aim for 3-5 minutes.

Get feedback

Read it to someone you trust and ask whether anything could make guests uncomfortable and whether the ending feels strong.

What to communicate

• Rehearsal date, time, and location.
• What to wear.
• What to bring.
• Rehearsal dinner location, dress code, and start time.

Timing

Send this information at least 3 weeks before the rehearsal. Do not assume bridesmaids remember details shared months earlier.

Why yours is different

The MOH emergency kit is more comprehensive than a standard bridesmaid kit because you are the primary problem-solver on the wedding day.

Key additions beyond a bridesmaid kit

• Sewing kit with thread matching the bride's dress.
• Multiple stain removers and white chalk.
• Printed vendor contact list and printed timeline.
• Pre-labeled tip envelopes.
• Bride snacks, antacids, and pain reliever.

What the MOH needs on the timeline

• Getting-ready start time and location.
• Each bridesmaid's hair and makeup appointment.
• Ceremony start time and processional order.
• Photo session schedule.
• Reception events, speeches, cake cutting, and last dance.
• Vendor arrival times.

Print two copies

Keep one copy for yourself and one in the bride's emergency kit.

Check in with each person

• Hotel booked or local stay confirmed.
• Flight or drive timing known.
• Transportation from hotel to getting-ready location arranged.
• Arrival time works with rehearsal and wedding morning schedule.

Final speech checklist

• Runs 3-5 minutes spoken aloud.
• Includes specific personal stories.
• Appropriate for all ages and the full guest list.
• Avoids inside jokes that exclude most guests.
• Ends with a strong, clear toast.
• Practiced standing up, with a glass in hand.

Memorize the edges

Memorize the opening and closing lines. You can use notes for the middle, but knowing the first and last 30 seconds helps you start and end with confidence.

Typical US tip ranges

• Photographer: $50-$200 per photographer.
• Videographer: $50-$150.
• Catering staff: 15-20% if not included.
• DJ: $50-$150.
• Band: $25-$50 per musician.
• Hair and makeup: 15-20% of service cost.
• Officiant: $50-$100 if appropriate.
• Transportation driver: 15-20%.

Confirm the arrangement

The couple typically provides the cash; the MOH often distributes it. Confirm this in advance and label each envelope clearly.

Common wedding week MOH tasks

• Picking up items from vendors or the post office.
• Assembling welcome bags.
• Helping with final DIY decor.
• Confirming bridesmaid arrival plans.
• Being the bride's emotional anchor.

MOH rule for wedding week

Say yes to every reasonable request. This is the week your support has the highest value.

Confirm with each bridesmaid

• Getting-ready arrival time and location.
• Dress, shoes, and accessories ready.
• Transportation arranged.
• Emergency kit packed.

Timing

Do this 3-4 days before the wedding, not the morning of.

MOH-specific rehearsal tasks

• Practice processional pace and position.
• Confirm where to stand at the altar.
• Practice receiving the bride's bouquet.
• Confirm recessional pairing.
• Note last-minute ceremony changes.

After the rehearsal

Confirm every bridesmaid's wedding morning call time and remind them what to bring.

The MOH's most important rule

The bride's job this week is to get married. Your job is to make that easier.

What this means in practice

• If a bridesmaid has a conflict, resolve it without the bride.
• If a vendor has a question, answer it yourself when possible.
• If you are stressed, vent to someone other than the bride.
• If something goes wrong on the wedding day, fix it quietly.

Why arrive first

• Confirm the space is set up correctly.
• Greet the hair and makeup team.
• Have a calm moment with the bride.
• Handle early logistics before they become problems.

What to bring

Bring your full MOH emergency kit, dress in a garment bag, snacks for the group, and a printed copy of the day's timeline.

Your role during getting-ready

• Ensure each bridesmaid is in hair and makeup at her scheduled time.
• Keep the energy calm and positive.
• Manage photographer access to getting-ready moments.
• Ensure the bride eats something.
• Track time and alert the bride before departure.

The snack rule

Bring snacks. Getting-ready sessions run 4-6 hours, and a bride who has not eaten is more likely to feel faint or overwhelmed.

Critical preparation

Practice bustling the train at the final fitting. On the wedding day you may need to do it quickly in a crowded room.

Dressing sequence

• Confirm undergarments and shoes are on before the dress.
• Help the bride step into or over the dress.
• Fasten buttons, hooks, or laces carefully.
• Arrange the train for the ceremony.
• Place the veil if applicable.
• Hand the bride her bouquet last.

MOH ceremony responsibilities

• Walk in the processional, usually last bridesmaid before the bride.
• Stand closest to the bride at the altar.
• Receive the bride's bouquet during the ring exchange.
• Hold the groom's ring if the ceremony plan calls for it.
• Adjust the bride's train and veil as needed.
• Walk in the recessional with the best man.

Stay attentive

Watch the bride throughout the ceremony. If she needs a tissue, veil adjustment, or steadying hand, be ready.

Your role during photos

• Keep all bridesmaids available until the photographer releases the group.
• Keep the bridal party energy positive.
• Communicate the photo schedule so no one wanders off.
• Bustle the bride's train before reception photos.

Common delay

Bridesmaids disappearing to cocktail hour is one of the most preventable photo delays. Your job is to prevent it.

Speech delivery tips

• Stand up, hold the microphone close, and speak slowly.
• Make eye contact with the bride and the room.
• Pause after the first line so the room settles.
• If you get emotional, pause, breathe, and continue.
• End with a clear toast inviting guests to raise their glasses.

After the speech

Sit down, take a breath, and enjoy the rest of the reception. You have done the hardest part.

End-of-night MOH tasks

• Distribute pre-labeled tip envelopes.
• Account for the bride's personal items.
• Coordinate the send-off with guests.
• Help manage gift and card collection.
• Ensure the bride gets into transportation safely.

Coordinator handoff

If the couple has a coordinator, align with them before the reception. If not, assume you own these details.

What to organize

• Designate someone to transport gifts from the venue.
• Ensure the bridal shower gift list gets to the bride.
• Confirm all cards are collected and secured.

Why this matters

Many brides experience an emotional dip after the wedding. After months of planning and anticipation, the sudden quiet can feel disorienting.

What to say

A simple check-in is enough: I have been thinking about how incredible last Saturday was. How are you feeling?

What to return

Return jewelry, accessories, emergency kit items, or any borrowed getting-ready supplies promptly.

Reviews that help

Hair, makeup, photography, and coordination vendors benefit from detailed reviews that mention timing, professionalism, and wedding day calm.